I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
