You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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