I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
