I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
