Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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