if you like me you must not know who I am
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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