i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
