Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
