were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
