I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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