There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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