i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
whose parrot is this?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
