i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
