Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
