omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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