Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
