Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
