ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The best revenge is premature balding
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
