You're so nebulous sometimes
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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