So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
