sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
