Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
