It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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