The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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