Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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