so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
