my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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