Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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