Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
