Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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