Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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