My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
