Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
