Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
