I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
