eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
