He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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