We won't sleep together?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize