There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
