Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
These tits shall not be calmed
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
