U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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