yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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