butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
