I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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