Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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  (914): i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same http://tfl.nu/tcqj
  Replies (39) Good night (1169) Bad night (5620)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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  (203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me http://tfl.nu/u42j
  Replies (20) Good night (2504) Bad night (3975)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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  (401): I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family. http://tfl.nu/wak4
  Replies (31) Good night (5115) Bad night (2113)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

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  (434): He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears. http://tfl.nu/acnv
  Replies (41) Good night (13069) Bad night (1641)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7449) Bad night (1021)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.

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  (518): Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea. http://tfl.nu/ytsg
  Replies (3) Good night (2665) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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  (607): Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up. (845): Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity. http://tfl.nu/u2xk
  Replies (5) Good night (2022) Bad night (691)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.

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  (970): I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl. http://tfl.nu/cu8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1967) Bad night (880)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

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  (801): If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke. http://tfl.nu/6dxv
  Replies (7) Good night (1776) Bad night (734)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I love it when he cheats on me with nice people

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  (231): Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend (231): I love it when he cheats on me with nice people http://tfl.nu/h468
  Replies (8) Good night (648) Bad night (1481)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?

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  (774): I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do? http://tfl.nu/dozv
  Replies (16) Good night (697) Bad night (404)
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  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (403) Bad night (940)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.

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  (404): I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it. http://tfl.nu/ptib
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.

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  (607): Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend. http://tfl.nu/8rh6
  Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (569)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime

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  (541): i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime http://tfl.nu/7n4k
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (478)

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