Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ben's a prick.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

What Ben are you talking about?

(404): View more from Georgia

All the bens across all the lands

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(404): Ben's a prick. (1-404): What Ben are you talking about? (404): All the bens across all the lands http://tfl.nu/b5yr

Replies (153) Good night (2761) Bad night (2029)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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(507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x

Replies (7) Good night (3637) Bad night (731)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours

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(414): I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours http://tfl.nu/ud9t

Replies (27) Good night (6195) Bad night (1634)
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(585): View more from New York

are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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(585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs

Replies (31) Good night (5191) Bad night (1841)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i think i scared a bird with my dick

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(832): i think i scared a bird with my dick http://tfl.nu/1tdx

Replies (20) Good night (4543) Bad night (1063)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

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(402): When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore. http://tfl.nu/jbik

Replies (9) Good night (4766) Bad night (1245)
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(586): View more from Michigan

hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink

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(586): hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink http://tfl.nu/wrew

Replies (4) Good night (2131) Bad night (1076)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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(270): New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it. http://tfl.nu/its0

Replies (10) Good night (1054) Bad night (2277)
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(240): View more from Maryland

planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?

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(240): planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you? http://tfl.nu/bdmu

Replies (7) Good night (1399) Bad night (662)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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(313): I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer. http://tfl.nu/dqld

Replies (19) Good night (1405) Bad night (664)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.

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(720): Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/6vuz

Replies (6) Good night (3145) Bad night (515)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.

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(613): Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again. http://tfl.nu/4a7s

Replies (7) Good night (332) Bad night (1286)
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(917): View more from New York City

Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.

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(917): Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP. http://tfl.nu/0qve

Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (703)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.

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(708): I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid. http://tfl.nu/0wsp

Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (318)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.

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(651): I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant. (715): I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40. http://tfl.nu/ewh2

Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (312)

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