I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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