sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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