I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
