Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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