And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
