some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
