i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
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yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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