i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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