Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
