Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was born a porn star she said
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
