Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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