then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
