I'd wear matching sweaters with you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
