No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
