I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
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Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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