I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
