Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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