i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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