Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
