some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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