Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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