I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
