He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My penis needs a shock collar
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
