tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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