Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
