This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
