He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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